Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Baby Fever

I have been nagging the husband a lot lately... and you can guess about what...

I've got maternal instincts coming out my ears! But even considering having a kid is so overwhelming. I imagine that having one would be infinitely more stressful.

Quick assessment of the situation without giving too much info and making hubs uncomfortable: we may not be able to have kids at all. Hubs had an injury when he was 18, and at that time the prognosis was not good. However, I, being the optimist that I am, have insisted on new tests and new results. It has been 10 years, okay!? The human body is capable of amazing things. So we should get the results this Thursday and find out how the swimmers are doing. But that's not all...

Second problem on the table: Hubs would much rather adopt. It's an over-population thing; a why-bring-another-person-into-the-world-without-taking-care-of-the-ones-already-here kind of a thing. I can understand that. I have always held that opinion. Until the ticking-tocking-time-bomb of HORMONES starting tell me to get preggers.

Additionally, do you have any idea how difficult, expensive and, let's be honest, sometimes sketchy, adoption can be? I'm scared out of my mind to adopt. What if the mom gets her act together and wants the baby back? What if it takes us three years to raise the money we would need? How do you prepare for a baby when you have no idea what is really going to happen?

To further complicate things, I have never been crazy about the idea of being pregnant. My instinct is to care for a child, not necessarily to birth one. I know that some women have that desire: to carry a child, to have that biological connection. Since I've never had that, I can't speak to its wonder. But it isn't something I naturally crave.

So hubs says, "Let's adopt!" To him, it's obviously an easy choice.

And I hate to take the easy road on something like this just because it's easier...

But in my gut and in my heart, there is something telling me that adoption may not be the road for us...

Ugh... thoughts, advice, anyone?


  1. I love you. <3 I don't have any words of wisdom, but I'm here for you!

  2. I will admit. Even though I have no near future plans, nor - more importantly - a significant other to plan such things with. I have this debate in my head a lot. Obviously, I don't have a ticking time bomb, but the whole over-population/so many innocent kids in need of a home thing tugs at me. At the same time, creating life is the most powerful thing we are capable of doing.

    Or.. What is more powerful? Creating a life or saving one? A lot of people create life by accident, and shy away from the more daunting task of raising and supporting that life.

  3. Don't stress... Wait till thursday, see what transpires and go from there. You're young and have years before the tick tock of your clock will cease. Let the desire drive you to prepare for parenthood however it may come and in the mean time, trust, accept and let go, knowing when you do, the perfect plan for your lives and babies will be revealed, at the perfect time. :-)